Say What You Feel, in a Civil Way

Communication, dammit. It’s not easy, but try it. It might just work. Be honest. Damn, I know, it’s complicated b –. (Editors note: forgive the interruption, but Mr. Hellstrøm has just spit a glob of . . . whatever . . . on his keyboard. He’s trying to say something he considers important, and his zeal has got the better of him. Now he has to clean it up) . . . but you can deal with it.
It’s not actually that difficult. Even with the minimal empathy that I am equipped with, it isn’t that hard. I make up for it with – I was thinking ‘intellect’ just now, but that ain’t right – perhaps it’s more like I empathize on a different level. On several levels, maybe, and then it’s too much, and I’d rather attack than feel with you. Nevertheless I try my best to understand. So don’t take it wrong if I wrestle you to the ground and bite you in the throat.
skeleton-20746_1280
Whatever. We all have our crosses to bear, our balls and chains to drag dismally across the floor, and so on. Besides, some people deserve to be bitten in the throat. But, basically, when I have those feelings, I counter them with perfect politeness. There are ways of making your feelings clear without biting other peoples throats. I’ll nevermind them, those people. Keep them at arm’s length.
Politeness is like armor then. You see how people misbehave, and you counter it with absolute civility. There is nothing that could make them angrier, perhaps, but you force them to be civil in turn. And that is an honest way of communication. You’re telling them very clearly what you think, though it may be masked, and you’re forcing them to deal with you on a certain level, the only level left, at that point, which won’t cause you to bite them in the throat.
So you’re wearing a mask, but it’s an honest mask. Everyone knows what it means. That’s what I mean when I say: say what you feel. Nevermind them. They may hate you for it afterwards, if they even take the trouble to think about it, but most likely they won’t. Even if they do, there is nothing they can do about it. If they do think about it, they will silently admit defeat. You’ve fucked them in the ass, big time, with civility.
Man, I love that. It appeals to my sense of irony. Not to mention the little cynical fuck in me that has a huge laugh at it. Haha, fucked you in the ass, man! Not a thing you can do about it! Aced you out, big time, you fucking asocial ass!
Ahh, I love civility, and politeness.

Advertisements

Languages Are So Fucking Cool

You want to learn a language? Go to the country where it is spoken. Immerse yourself in it. And if you can’t do that, then I recommend getting a girl-/boyfriend who speaks that language. You’ll learn more from them in two months of affectionate conversation than in two years at a language school. Okay, I am exaggerating somewhat, but you know what I mean.
Tell your loved one to speak to you exclusively in their own tongue. It may seem inconvenient at first, but you’ll be amazed at how quickly you learn the basics in this way. And you will find that it enriches your relationship as well, because you will actually start to really listen to them. You’ll be hanging on every word, every accompanying gesture, trying to figure out what in hell they mean. You will notice things about them, about their way of thinking, their way of seeing the world, that would otherwise have escaped your attention entirely. You will be forced take them in as a whole, instead of just as a person talking to you, saying something the second half of which you understand before it even leaves their mouths. You think.
Do you listen when people speak, or are you just sort of homing in on what you think they want to say? Think about it. I am sure you will find that your understanding of speech is like a sort of predator… you are looking for certain words, certain patterns of speech, and you pounce on them like a cat, thankful that you’ve found what you wanted. You’ll scarf up those words you thought you heard, you’ll bolt them like a wolf, without chewing a single bite. You don’t give a damn if you heard them correctly or not. You’ll even give an answer… most likely it will fit, hallway at least. But only halfway… but, no matter! Your opposite in conversation will bolt down your answer without really hearing! They will accept anything you say, as long as it isn’t completely incongruent with what they said… and so on.
portrait-358970_1920
This is the way people communicate. They aren’t really listening, and what they say isn’t hardly true, and even if it’s true, it probably doesn’t really pertain to the actual topic of conversation. Christ almighty. It’s a wonder anything is ever understood. Oh, but it is, at least subjectively… they believe they understood you, and you believe you understood them…
Well, better than nothing, right? Yeah, right.
Like I said, try a new language. Do a breakfast in Hindu, with the whole family. Try a Chinese breakfast. Each person can look up a few words, and then… waugh! When everyone is getting hungry and no one knows what the fuck anyone wants, gestures help, and: Ugh! Ugh! Grunts. That is something everyone understands.