Religious Shit

– Taoism: Shit happens.
– Confucianism: Confucius says “Shit happens.”
– Buddhism: If shit happens, it is not really shit.
– Zen-Buddhism: What is the sound of shit happening?
– Hinduism: This shit happened before.
– Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
– Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
– Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserved it.
– Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?
– New Age: Affirm shit does not happen to me.
– Atheism: I don’t believe this shit.
– Rastafarianism: Let’s roll this shit up and smoke it.