Famous Irony, Infamous Idiocy

If I should ever become famous –God forbid– what would people make of my offhand ironical statements? Or, to put it the other way around: how many statements made by famous people are simply ironical offhand blahs that we take far too seriously? I am struck again and again by idiotic quotes from famous people. I can, at times, only suppose that they didn’t mean it seriously. They say something on the spur of the moment –it might even have made sense in the context in which it was stated– which, taken alone, is a crock of bloody shit. Likely as not, they just wanted to fuck with some poor interviewers head at the time. I know I’d be tempted to do so.
Or was it all just plain true idiocy, stupidity from people many consider somehow better? I am inclined to believe that the skills necessary to become famous are not congruent with those required to be a person I could like very much, much less consider per se better in any way.

Great Fun of the Ironic Kind

Curse it all. Shup-shup-a-dup-daya. I’m in an ironic mood, but there is no one here to play it off on. All alone. Only me to victimize with irony, and frankly I’m not in the mood to be on the receiving end, at least not from me. I have no desire to get stuck on the end of my own blunt tongue.
That is one of the major disadvantages of having no companion. A woman would be convenient just now, but for God’s sake a woman who can take it. Not a sensitive little thing who doesn’t understand and is hurt… a woman who can hit back, verbally, without being insulted and without being insulting. I’d love to bandy words with a smart woman just now.
So, what’s left? You, the hypothetical reader. But I can’t, for the life of me, bandy words with you. You are simply too fucking remote. Besides which I can’t see your eyes, I can’t hear you, I can’t smell you. There is no true conversation without these things. Chatting is a joke, I mean chatting in the sense of typewriting a conversation with someone you can’t see on the computer. Emotes are just an even worse joke, a screen, a further wheel within the wheel of inscrutability. 😉
Of course, a conversation like that also offers singular ironical opportunities…


Somebody recently mailed me a cartoon. The essence of it was that the founding fathers of the United States of America are all signing the Bill of Rights, and one is saying to the other, „Are you sure they’ll understand that we mean this ironically?“ Wham.
Irony is so often misunderstood. Especially self-irony, delivered deadpan. You can say the most unbelievable things of yourself… and they will be believed as long as you don’t batt an eyelash in the telling. People will sort of blink, and think to themselves… geez, I never realized he was such a bastard, or, gosh, what a sensitive guy. You can see it in their eyes, you can sense it in the infinitesimal delay before they reply with some commonplace.
I know this from personal experience. I’ve made so many jokes about myself… and no one bloody gets it. Almost never. Just call me old poker-face. I should have been an actor. I’ll say things that I consider completely off-the-wall… and people take it for real coin. I expect them to laugh and say, yeah sure, you’re just pulling my leg, you can’t possibly mean that… but no.
Maybe I should tell the simple truth for a change? That’d fool ’em even worse. They wouldn’t believe a single fucking word.
Listening to Are You With Me? From Jaya the Cat.