Interview With the Author No. 222 (x3)

Hellstrøm: God?
God: Yes?
Hellstrøm: Okay, just wanted to make sure you’re there.
God: Yeah, right. So what’s ’bout this new book?
Hellstrøm: Same old same old, man meets woman, good conquers evil, love wins over hate, indifference and fatalism.
God: Aha. Very original. You guys never do learn, do you.
Hellstrøm: Well, God, the human race is…
God: I wasn’t talking about humans. I was talking about authors.
Hellstrøm: … well. *clears throat* I always wanted to ask you a question, God.
God: Yeah?
Hellstrøm: What kind of music do you listen to, I mean like, when you’re chillin’, and have time to listen.
God: Jazz.
Hellstrøm: Fuck. I hate jazz.
God: No big deal.
Hellstrøm: D’ya mind if I ask some more questions?
God: *raises his bushy patrician eyebrows* If you must.
Hellstrøm: I must. Just wondering how long you’re going to go on like this, letting people kill each other in your name.
God: As long as it takes… *sighs* say, who’s interviewing who here?
Hellstrøm: Haven’t the slightest.
God: Me either. So, what else you want to know?
Hellstrøm: What is the answer?
God: What… to which question.
Hellstrøm: The question.
God: Oh, please…
Hellstrøm: No, really…! *clears throat* Really! *grins*
God: *frowns* You tryin’ to ace me out, man?
Hellstrøm: No, no, Jesus, heh, I mean God, no, I mean, uh… well, you know what I mean.
God: *laughs heartily* Yeah, I know. Thanks for the interview.
Hellstrøm goes home and listens to 100% Song from The Mekons.
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Give Me the Ska Beat

I don’t know quite what it is, but music that would otherwise be abhorrent to me sounds great when it’s played with a ska beat. Give me that brass, baby. I dislike jazz, but there are a lot of jazz elements in ska, I don’t care much for hip-hop, but when I listen to ska with hip-hop elements, hey, I like it. Heavy metal can go hang, as far as I am concerned, but combine it with a ska beat, and I am delighted. I recently heard a popular carnival song from Cologne –this is music that can instantly rob me of the desire to live– with a ska beat and those wonderful horns… and I liked it. Can you explain to me why that is?
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Laid Back

Listening to From Russia With Love from the Skatalites. Now that is laid back. I hate jazz, fuck jazz and all the jazz bastards out there, I know you think you are so cool… but the jazz influence in the original Ska is undeniable, and I love it. It’s the kind of jazz you find in jive, and I can live with that any day.
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